To Fall In Love Again
by headto
Summary: Daniel died and Regina ended up raising Henry alone. When Emma Swan came along and Regina found herself falling in love again. But Emma kept reminding Regina about Daniel in the most inopportune times. How can Regina move on from the past? Swan Queen.
**Author's notes (Edited 5/5/16):
**

This is a Swan Queen story but Emma began as Daniel. No, there's no magic. Daniel is a soldier and due to circumstances, had to undergo a very, very thorough operation. The sex change was required because of the severe damage. I'm explaining it here because it was not thoroughly discussed in the story.

There is also a moment when drunk men shouted at Regina for a kiss. If this is triggering for you, please do not read this anymore.

When I wrote this, all I thought of was the love between Emma and Regina. If there are parts that feel offensive or triggering, please let me know.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this story and I hope you enjoy!

 _Disclaimers: All OUAT-identifiable characters are owned by the creators of Once Upon A Time. Also, the plot is inspired by a book but I cannot remember the title now. I did a little tweaking to make the story my own but if any of you has an idea about the book, please let me know so that I can put the proper recognition._

* * *

 **To Fall In Love Again**

Regina knew the life of a soldier. She knew about it when she agreed to marry Daniel. Because Daniel, sweet Daniel who was very gentle and kind and had this idiotic need to serve the country to make it safe for her, was everything in life she could have asked for.

He is everything.

So the one night Regina finally decided to make love to him, because tomorrow he was leaving for the war, she accepted his ring that he received from his father. Regina said _yes, of course I will marry you_. And Daniel, sweet Daniel whose personality had no place in a war, made her promise to treat his house as her own and in turn he promised to take care of you even while he is away.

And she promised that despite no priest nor law officiating your marriage, she was his as he was hers.

When Regina kissed him goodbye the next day, he handed her an envelope with a deed of _his_ house with _her_ name on it.

#

Regina tried not to worry despite the scarcity of letters. It was war time after all. And Daniel promised he'd be back. He had never broken a promise before.

Three months passed and she fell sick. It was really just vomiting but after a few days, she began to crave for apples. Regina finally decided to go to a doctor.

#

She's pregnant. The first thing Regina did when she got home was to cry. She cried because the last letter she received was from a month ago and last night there was news of a bombing in an American camp (and she prayed really hard that it wasn't Daniel's).

#

Five months later there was a knock on the door. When Regina saw the man in uniform with a grim face, she stepped back, fell down, and cried. The man was polite enough to look away until she was able to stand again.

He gave her Daniel's bag, the one he had with him when he left. Inside were a few clothing and the letters you sent him. There was a letter for her, dated a day before the bombing. He said he was coming home in a month.

Regina asked for Daniel's tag but the man only said sorry and you can't help but cry again. As she was walking him to the door, he asked how far along were you. _Eight months_ , Regina said.

"He would have wanted to be here." The man said before he turned and walked out the door. The man tipped his hat at her and Regina watched him walk down the path. Her last connection to Daniel.

 _No_ , she corrected as she rubbed her stomach. _He will grow up knowing you, Daniel._

#

"I still think you're making a mistake here, Daniel." Gold said once he entered the hospital room.

"How was she?" Daniel asked, eyes staring straight at the ceiling. It was only when Gold told him that Regina was eight months pregnant did any emotions show in his face. Or whatever was visible under the thick bandage covering most of his face. And his body. Tears streamed down Daniel's face.

"We had a deal, Gold."

"And I will keep my part of the deal."

After a beat, Daniel spoke again. "Someday, when I'm ready."

"This surgery will change your life. Regina will probably not feel the same for you. That is, if she will forgive you for telling her you're dead when you're not." Gold said.

"I'm not the Daniel she remembers now. And until the spy is caught, I can never return to her as I am."

#

Regina saw Gold again after a week. It was a surprise when he handed you a cheque. _This will come every month_ , he said. Regina's impulse was to say no. But then Gold said that Daniel was a good friend and they promised to take care of each others' family should anything happen to them. Regina remembered Daniel's promise and also, there's _Henry Daniel Mills_ to think about now.

So she accepted. Gold was there during her pregnancy, not inside though, and he continued to visit every month, cheque in hand and sometimes a little toy for the baby or a little trinket for her.

It was after Henry's second birthday when Gold said goodbye. "I'll visit again though it might take a while. If you need me, you can contact me thru here." Gold said and handed her a card.

Regina nodded and squeezed his hand because until now, she can't hug another person expect for Henry.

#

The cheque continued to arrive but in her mailbox this time. The return address said Boston and Regina assumed that was where Gold's family lived. Every first day of the month, Regina will open her mailbox and pullout a cheque until one day it wasn't there.

So she packed Henry in his stroller and made their way to the post office. Regina moved to open the door and was startled when it was suddenly pulled inwards. She came to stare at a woman who stared back at her and then at Henry.

Regina hadn't seen her before. She only goes out to visit the park with Henry and then for a weekend afternoon snack at Granny's. But she was sure that the woman wasn't from Storybrooke. Though there was something familiar with her.

The woman finally broke off from staring and moved back to let them in. When Regina said 'thank you', the woman only nodded and fled quickly.

#

"I saw them, Gold."

"That's great, Daniel." Gold replied.

"It's Emma now."

"My apologies. I'm sure you understand that it will take some time for me to get used to this."

Emma sighed. "I know. But for Regina and Henry's sake, I hope you won't slip up. Daniel is dead."

Though his comrade can't see him thru the phone, Gold nodded. "Of course, Emma."

#

The post master said there was no mail for her that day. Regina wondered what happened to Gold. She really should have at least contacted him even just to say hello all those months. But she wasn't that good with reaching out to people and Gold didn't seem like the nostalgic type. What if something happened to him? Another casualty at war? What if-

Regina stopped pushing Henry's stroller when she saw a stranger standing outside the gate. The stranger turned and _oh_ , it was the woman from earlier. The woman smiled shyly, right hand tucked in her front pocket while the left clutched a familiar white envelope. When Regina reached her, the woman extended the envelope towards her.

"Regina Mills?"

Regina stared at the woman upon hearing the voice. It was both familiar and unfamiliar. Then the woman motioned again to the envelope in her hand. "This is for you."

Regina finally took the envelope and it was her envelope but this time, the return address was Storybrooke. "Who are you?" She asked though not unkindly.

The woman smiled shyly again before answering. "Emma. Emma Swan."

#

Emma Swan said she knew Daniel from the war. That they were close, "but not that close!" Emma quickly added when Regina frowned. "He's like a brother."

When Regina asked why she had the cheque, Emma said that she knew Gold was once again deployed and she wanted to repay Daniel for saving her. So she offered to check on his family.

Regina was craving for stories about Daniel so she invited Emma inside the house.

#

She doesn't know what came over her when she invited Emma to stay in the house with her and Henry. "We have spare rooms," she said. "If what you say about Daniel being like a brother to you is true, I'm sure he would have extended the same courtesy to you."

"But you don't know me. It's not safe for you and Henry."

Regina was quiet for a moment as she looked at Emma Swan. Then, "Are you planning to hurt us, Ms. Swan?"

Emma's face was serious as she replied, "I'd kill myself first before I let anyone or anything hurt you two."

#

"I'm staying in the house with them."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"No, but I can't stay away from them anymore."

"Then I wish you happiness, Emma."

"Thank you, Gold. Let me know if something comes up."

#

Emma loved to help around the house. The creaking of the floor boards and doors disappeared. The leaking water pipes were fixed. Regina also no longer needed to hire someone to help clean the roof and mow the lawn. Emma did all the chores in the house except for one. The cooking she left to Regina.

When Emma wasn't fixing or cleaning the house, she was playing with Henry. And Henry loved her. He followed her everywhere and sometimes, he will cry when Emma leaves the house. So Emma learned to go running in the early morning before Henry wakes up or in the evening when Henry is already asleep.

And when Emma was not doing anything, or while they ate, she told Regina stories about Daniel and about herself, though she never shared anything before she joined the war.

The months passed and the cheques continued to arrive (through the mailbox again with the familiar Boston return address) and Regina began to think of Emma more than Daniel.

#

"I think you've had too much too drink already, Regina." Emma said, eyeing the now empty bottle of wine. She was sure it was full when Regina started because Emma only bought it that day.

"Emma!" Regina shouted, face flushed, and motioned for Emma to sit beside her with the hand holding her glass of wine.

Emma sat and removed the glass from Regina's hand and Regina let her. Regina stared at her now empty hands while Emma looked at her in silence. After a moment, Emma made to stand up but Regina's words stopped her.

"I still love Daniel but it doesn't hurt as much anymore."

Emma knew how Daniel would respond but she took her time answering. This was the first time she saw Regina drunk so she's clearly not happy. "Is this why you're drinking?"

When tears began to stream down Regina's face, Emma, without thought, fell on her knees in front of the other woman and hugged her. "Why did he have to die Emma? Why?"

Regina shook as she cried and Emma was tempted to tell her the truth. But she knew she can't. Not until she's sure that her family will be safe. So when Regina finally tired out and fell limply against her, Emma gently carried her to bed.

#

Regina woke up and groaned. She's never drinking again. She closed her eyes and bits of memory came back to her. She was drinking and there was Daniel, _no_ , Emma was there and she carried her to bed then Regina looked at her and saw Daniel's eyes but it was the wrong face because of course it wasn't him but _Emma_ but Regina whispered "Oh Daniel" and pulled him towards her and when they kissed it was as she remembered and when she reopened her eyes, Daniel was looking back at her, and then- _oh gods, she kissed Emma_.

She's never drinking again.

#

When Regina finally dredged up the courage to go down and face Emma, she was ready to apologize. But Emma was in a suit and all words left her. Her coat was laid on the couch but still, Emma was in a suit while helping Henry with a puzzle.

And Emma, who appeared to have a sixth sense when it comes to her and Henry, turned towards her by the door and smiled. "I'm glad you're awake. There's coffee and toast in the kitchen and I've already fed Henry. I'll just be gone for awhile."

Regina sat beside Henry on the floor. Henry leaned his head against her arm but continued with the puzzle. "May I know where you're going?" Then she added quickly, "So I'll know if I should prepare lunch enough for three."

Emma smiled while she put on her coat. "I'll be home in time for lunch."

And it was routine for Emma to kiss Henry on the top of his head whenever she leaves the house but it wasn't routine for Emma to kiss Regina on the forehead.

Regina didn't mind at all.

#

Emma applied at the sheriff station, _to help ends meet_ , she reasoned. So sometimes, when Emma has the day shift, she and Henry will visit the station and bring her lunch. They stay for a while until Henry falls asleep for his afternoon nap.

When Emma had night shifts, Regina makes sure to pack dinner and snacks for her. Breakfast is also ready once Emma arrives home. Emma continued to do her chores and play with Henry. _I don't need much sleep anyway,_ she said when Regina told Henry to let Emma sleep.

#

They were walking home from the park when two drunk men hollered at Regina. "Hey hot mama why don't you give us each a kiss?"

Regina gripped Henry's stroller tighter and walked faster. Emma moved faster to catch up.

"Now don't be such a pussy!"

In a flash, Emma disappeared and when Regina turned, Emma was towering over the two men who were now both faced down with one on top of the other. Emma had the arms of the one on top in a tight grip as she talked on her phone. When she was done, she tucked the phone back in her pocket and tightened her grip.

"This is police brutality!" The man at the bottom shouted.

"Tell that to the judge after I slap you with sexual harassment."

When the sheriff and another deputy arrived, Emma talked with them for a while before motioning to Regina and Henry, who thankfully was asleep the whole time, from the sidewalk. Emma was back with them before the patrol car drove away.

Emma took the stroller away from Regina and was about to push it when Regina laid her hand on Emma's shoulder. "You didn't have to do that."

Emma didn't look at her when she replied, "You shouldn't have to experience that."

And so Regina followed Emma as they resumed their walk home.

#

Regina never forgot the kiss. Sometimes she would look at Emma and imagine doing it again. Emma was beautiful and kind and anyone would be lucky to have her. Regina's a single mother and had nothing to offer. So Regina did her best to control her urges.

Unfortunately, Regina's control started to break when she saw the bruises on Emma's hand. Who was she kidding. It started to break when Emma took care of those men from earlier.

 _I've had worse_ , Emma replied when Regina reprimanded her for not telling her that she was hurt. But Regina was stubborn and so Emma agreed to take care of it. Then she went upstairs.

Regina succeeded in reigning in her impulse for about one minute. The next thing she knew, she was knocking on Emma's door. There was no answer so she opened the door slightly, though she know she shouldn't, and when she saw Emma's bathroom door slightly ajar, she opened it as well.

Emma looked up from where she sat at the edge of the tub. One hand poised to put antiseptic on her wound. Regina realized what she's done but Emma smiled.

"Can't help being a mom, huh?"

But Regina didn't feel like smiling because Emma was not wearing a shirt but only her sports bra and this was the first time Regina saw this much skin of Emma.

Then Regina was kneeling in front of Emma and cleaning and then wrapping Emma's wound and afterwards she kissed it then the uninjured hand and then Emma's cheek, one after the other, and when Emma didn't move away, Regina tangled her hand in Emma's hair and then crashed their lips together and _finally._

Emma tried to stop her when Regina took off her blouse but she pleaded and Emma gave her everything she asked for and begged for and when she reached that most glorious point when two people made love, she stared at the eyes of the person she had loved for a long time and she cried, "Daniel!"

When she realized what she's said, she tried to apologize but Emma, oh sweet Emma, simply tucked her in bed and held her until she fell asleep.

#

Regina woke to an empty bed. She doesn't understand why she kept seeing Daniel in Emma. They were two different people. While Daniel was very open, Emma had so many secrets. Daniel was gentle and kind while Emma, who was also gentle and kind with her and Henry, also had a certain ferocity or dangerousness beneath her skin. Regina finally saw it manifest with the drunk men yesterday.

Regina blames the eyes but then millions of people had blue eyes. What was it with Emma Swan that makes her forget Daniel until that moment when they were very intimate.

Regina knew it wasn't fair. Daniel is dead and Emma is here, with them. She can understand if Emma decides to leave and not have anything to do with them anymore. The thought of not being with Emma anymore caused a great pain in her chest and for a while it reminded her of hearing about Daniel's death.

 _I'm in love with Emma Swan._

Regina laughed until she cried.

#

"Something intimate happened last night, Gold."

"Spare me the details please."

Emma sighed.

"You can't keep lying to her, Emma."

"She called out Daniel's name."

"Then you should think about how you are going to tell her the truth."

#

Regina did not mean to look. She only meant to clean up while she tried to build up enough courage to face Emma. But her tidying up Emma's room led her to the slightly opened drawer, which she tried closing but was stuck and so she pulled it out so she can push it properly back in but the label on the folder inside caught her attention.

As she read the contents of the Daniel's folder, things began to be more confusing and she read and re-read everything and she lost track of time until finally, the door opened and-

"Regina," Emma whispered, alarmed.

Regina looked at the woman in front of her. "Daniel."

Emma flinched and looked away. After a while, she spoke. "Daniel is dead, Regina."

"He is not."

Then Regina was standing in front of Emma and tracing her face and gazing at her eyes and touching her lips with her thumb.

"He is! I'm not Daniel."

Regina tried to kiss her but Emma moved away. She brushed a hand thru her hair and moved to lean beside the cabinet a distance from Regina.

"You can't keep doing this to me, Regina. You can't keep kissing Emma while calling out to him."

"I know." Then Regina was once again in front of her cradling her face with both hands. "I'm angry at you Emma Swan. I'm very angry but also very much in love with you." Emma's eyes widened but before she can speak, Regina continued. "I know you're not Daniel anymore but he is your past. What I have with Daniel was the past but you are my present. The Daniel I knew doesn't know the current me and Henry. And Henry doesn't know Daniel but he knows you and he loves you.

I don't love you because I learned you're Daniel. I've loved you for some time and I'm sorry for the times I called out for him. But if you-" And then Regina's courage failed her. She tried to move away but Emma held her.

"It's stupid that it hurt but at the same time, I'm glad that you still want Daniel after all this time. I'm not sure how much you've read of the file but I will answer any question you want. I may be Daniel before but I'm no longer him. The war changed me, Regina, and not only physically. You cannot see my scars because of the surgery but they're there. I cannot bring the Daniel you knew back. I can only offer Emma Swan."

Regina hugged her and whispered, "Emma Swan is enough. I promise, you're enough."

And when their tears have dried, they made love again and again and again and again and Regina proved that she was telling the truth when she said Emma Swan was enough because this time, she called out the right name and every time after that.

 **THE END.**

* * *

 **Author's note:**

I wanted to end it there but for those curious about what happened with the spy, Gold eventually contacted Emma that they caught the spy and Emma can rest assured that she and her family is now safe. And then there's marriage in the very near future.

Thank you for reading!


End file.
